Good Morning, Miss Bliss Episode 13: “The Mentor”

Ah, it’s the last episode of Good Morning, Miss Bliss you guys! I’ve almost made it through all thirteen episodes! It’s an exciting milestone, so stay tuned after the review for a couple of announcements.

Talking Baseball

In our cold opening, Screech inserts himself into a conversation between Zack Morris, Not-Slater, and Not-Jessie about baseball, wanting to know what position he’s going to play. They tell him he’s hella bad at baseball so they’re just going to let the opposing team throw foul balls at him instead.

After the credits, Miss Bliss’s voice over remind us that role models play an important part in every child’s life and she hopes that her resistance to the incompetence that is JFK Junior High will inspire them and maybe they’ll be mentors in the future. Just then Screech comes in and trips over…nothing.

Screech trip

If Screech turned out to be a mentor, that would explain why The New Class turned out so fucked up.

Mr. Lyman

Suddenly a crazy man just walks in Miss Bliss’s class raving about the world ending and I first thought maybe he was Tina’s father come to visit. But, no, it turns out it’s Miss Bliss’s eighth grade teacher, Mr. James Lyman, because apparently it’s common for visitors to just barge in during school unannounced and be allowed to interrupt class. She says that if he hadn’t been so bat shit crazy in his teaching methods, she may have never gone into teaching. and apparently eighth grade Miss Bliss had just as bad excuses as eighth grade Zack Morris. I suppose they were trying to set up for the second season why Miss Bliss has such a thing for Zack Morris.

In the cafeteria, Not-Jessie tells Lisa she can’t go to Cosmo’s with her after school because she has a baseball practice. Lisa tells Not-Jessie she better start conforming to gender stereotypes or her vagina is going to be less used than a workaholic’s vacation time. Not-Jessie is all, “Shut the fuck up, Lisa! You don’t know nothin’.” And Lisa’s all, “OK, if you want to be a virgin all your life, see if I care.”

As they eat, Mr. Lyman tells Miss Bliss that he’s no longer teaching and she’s shocked. Mr. Belding joins them and tries to display his wonderful grasp of humor but it shockingly only gets confused stares.

Belding Lyman

Mr. Belding tells Miss Bliss he needs her statewide curriculum report by Friday morning but she’s like, “Bitch, I can’t do that report by Friday and teach class!” Mr. Belding says he can’t get her a substitute by then but she’s like, “Mr. Lyman will substitute!” Mr. Belding sensibly says they need to do background checks but Miss Bliss is all, “Background checks, smackground checks, he taught me, that’s all you need to know!” Yeah, Miss Bliss hasn’t seen Mr. Lyman in a very long time. How does she know he’s not on the run from the law for murdering his class?

In the hallway, Not-Jessie says she can’t pitch anymore because she’s trying harder to conform to gender stereotypes and Zack Morris, Screech, and Not-Slater attempt to exert peer pressure on her to get her to play baseball but it’s all for naught when Screech calls her a “guy,” which reminds her that her hoo hah will be ever barren unless she quits.

Nikki quittng

It’s the last episode of Good Morning, Miss Bliss and, amazingly, Mylo does his first useful thing of the series! But there’s rumors of Full House getting a sequel series so I suppose if that can happen, anything can!

Mylo busting Zack and Mikey

Mylo busts Zack Morris and Not-Slater walking around in the hallway during class and asks to see their hall pass. Zack Morris presents one and seemingly gets away with it but, while they’re still within ear shot of Mylo, Zack Morris tells Not-Slater that Mr. Lyman gave him a hall pass that’s good until July because Mr. Lyman trusts Zack Morris. Mylo passes this information on to Mr. Belding.

As Mylo leaves, Miss Bliss comes down the stairs and Mr. Belding tells her the information he got from Mylo. Miss Bliss can’t believe it and so she insists they go in her classroom to watch Mr. Lyman teaching. And they walk into an empty classroom as we cut to commercial break.

Empty Classroom

After the break, Miss Bliss and Mr. Belding haven’t been able to locate the class, which is actually a huge liability problem since they have no clue where a bunch of students are. Mr. Lyman comes in the room and says the kids are at lunch and he’s taken them on a history walk without informing the office to talk about all the historical events that took place around the school, including a Sioux battle next to the 7-11 despite the fact that the Sioux were never in Indiana. Fact checking people!

Of course Mr. Belding is the villain here as he advocates putting the students in the classroom to read out of books and I can’t help but wonder why it has to be one or the other. After all, the best teachers use a variety of different methods for a variety of different learners. But this is Good Morning, Miss Bliss so it’s all black and white.

Later, Mr. Lyman has the class move their desks to opposite sides of the room and gives Union and Confederate style hats to our five regular cast members but only a couple extras. The prop department must have been over budget if they couldn’t even afford props for everyone in the scene. Mr. Lyman tells them to close their eyes and imagine they’re at Gettysburg. This leads up to him telling them to wad up paper as weapons and throw the paper balls at one another in mock war, just as Miss Bliss enters. And, as a reader pointed out to me, the show proves once again that it can’t maintain continuity for even thirty minutes when Not-Jessie is clearly seen throwing with her right hand despite the fact she identified as a south paw earlier in the episode.

Bliss Paper Fight

Miss Bliss tells Mr. Lyman he needs to cut this shit out and conform to the man but Mr. Lyman’s all, “Nobody puts baby in the corner!” He tells Miss Bliss she can take her class and shove it and leaves without his hats.

Lisa Nikki restroom

In the restroom, Not-Jessie is complaining about how horrible make-up is and Lisa tells her to cheer up because she’ll have guys wanting her cooch in no time. Not-Jessie is finally like, “Fuck this shit. I like playing baseball better than conforming to society’s expectations,” and tells Lisa she’s going to go play baseball because it’s completely impossible to find a way to do both in the Saved by the Bell universe. And the Not-Jessie wants to conform to gender stereotypes subplot ends with Not-Jessie spreading eyeliner on her face in an attempt to look like a baseball player, but she comes off looking like Minnie Mouse.

Nikki eyeliner

That night, Mr. Lyman shows up at Miss Bliss’s door and tells her, “Bitch, I be givin’ you the chance to apologize for the way you’s be treatin’ me today!”

Lyman at Bliss house

We get a bunch of crap shoved down our throats from Mr. Lyman about how education just isn’t what it used to be in the good ole’ days and how he was forced out of his job because he fought the man when they forgot it was about the kids learning. In a strange twist, the hall pass Mr. Lyman gave Zack Morris was dated for July 3, 1863, the day the Battle of Gettysburg ended, because Mr. Lyman said now Zack Morris won’t ever forget that date, which he definitely will because that’s not a mnemonic at all, just a gimmick. And Miss Bliss is inspired to lead her class on a history trip tomorrow, because we’ve completely forgotten that Miss Bliss was supposed to be filling out a report.

And I’m calling bullshit on this entire plot. Yes, teachers have it hard sometimes with rules coming down they must follow and unhelpful administrators. But there are lots of good teachers, many of whom I’ve met over the years, and they manage to strike a very good balance between traditional teaching and the bat shit crazy method of Mr. Lyman. Yes, let’s pump more money and resources into education. But let’s not pretend like the educators aren’t doing their damndest without a nutty guy pretending like the only way to teach is to have kids throw paper balls at one another and give fake hall passes.

Well, in any case, we end our episode with Miss Bliss giving a lecture on the Battle of Gettysburg since the Battle of Gettysburg would be quite hard to teach on a walk in Indiana.

Zack Nikki argue

Zack Morris and Not-Jessie argue because Zack Morris claims it was Not-Jessie’s bad pitching that made them lose the baseball game yesterday.

Lyman as Lincoln

And Mr. Lyman completely loses it when he comes into the class dressed as Abraham Lincoln and delivers the Gettysburg Address to Miss Bliss’s class. Mr. Belding comes in to find out why this weirdo is still roaming the hallway at his school and Miss Bliss tells Mr. Belding that this is Mr. Lyman’s farewell address. Because the way to go out is to dress as Lincoln for a bunch of fourteen year olds and recite a speech.

First: Mylo does something useful.


Well that’s it for Good Morning, Miss Bliss. Next Monday, I’ll have a bonus episode. Then, next Wednesday, I’ll have a recap of the series and an announcement about what’s next on Mondays. And make sure to keep checking in on Fridays for the last few episodes of season one of Saved by the Bell!

12 responses to “Good Morning, Miss Bliss Episode 13: “The Mentor”

  1. I don’t remember this episode at ALL. Thank God for small favours. Looking forward to what’s next!

  2. I was waiting for you to finish the last 2 GMMB reviews before I commented. So as I said of the final 2 episodes, one episode was my favorite and one was annoys me… and I know you called BS on this plot but The Mentor was in fact my favorite episode of this Shitty series.. 1st reason, it was the last episode. 2nd the actor who played Mr. Lyman, I just liked him… maybe it was because the 1st time I saw this (again not sure exactly when but I think it was before I graduated HS .. maybe not) I thought, I would want him for a teacher for the reasons, you complained about. What student doesn’t want to have paper fights in class, go on unauthorized field trips, and have him dress up in costumes… Matter of fact I had a teacher in HS who reminds me of him. He was an excellent teacher, had a PHD and was bat shit crazy. He used to pull out Burger King puppets during class and put his jacket over his head. I graduated HS in 98 and I am still in contact with my former teacher who is now retired.. And with that you have successfully reviewed GMMB, I look forward to the rest of the SBTB reviews!

    • Haha I guessed right! Despite how much crap I give this episode, mostly because I have experience in the education system myself so I know how hard teachers have it, it is one of the relatively better episodes of the series. When I do the recap, I’ll have my picks of the best and worst episodes of the series and, while this episode doesn’t make either list, it’s closer to the best episodes than the worst.

      The actor who played Mr. Lyman was Robert Donner, who had a shit ton of bit parts and guest roles over the years. It looks like his most well known role was as Boss Shorty in Cool Hand Luke. He also had recurring roles in The Waltons and Falcoln Crest and, in his less dignified days, on Mork and Mindy.

      P.S. Make sure you check the announcement next Wednesday. I think you’ll be happy with what’s next for Mondays. 😉

  3. I wonder why a battle involving the Sioux was being taught at the same time as Gettysburg? It makes no sense. I don’t see why a paper wad fight was so scandalous. I bet those kids never forgot Gettysburg was a victory for the Union. The hall pass tactic was dumb. Zach obviously only noticed the July date; not the year.

  4. santanaonfire

    Nice work so far! Way to keep it up.

  5. BITCH WILL APOLOGIZE TO ME THE WAY YOU BEEN TREATING ME TODAY

  6. MISS BLISS PLAYS THE PART OF THE BITCH ON SAVED BY THE BELL
    AND SENDS ZACH AND HIS FRIENDS TO MR. BELDING’S OFFICE

  7. 1. the hall pass: represents freedom, the end of a historic battle and the end of the battle Mr. L was fighting with the way education is becoming less about the kids, also the end of Mr. L teaching career. Miss Bliss students won’t forget get the day Mr L came into their class and taught the students and faculty that learning can be more than rules, books, etc. the students and faculty won’t forget Mr Lbraham Lincoln farewell speech.

    The Forms: were forgotten to show that education is more than paper work it’s about people learning that education doesn’t have to be boring.

    The conflicting battles: the conflict between people who are divided by differences that can also bring people together if they are willing to lay down their weapons and use their words to come to a peaceful compromise.

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