We open with Zack Morris and Screech wandering into an obviously off limits part of the school that they’ve never seen before. Why, it’s the school radio station, which happens to be KKTY, Wyoming’s Hottest Country, coming straight from Glendo, Wyoming. I’m assuming that this is the result of the same warping of the laws of time and space that caused three kids and their principal to suddenly find themselves in California after growing up in Indiana.
Anyway, they pull off some sheets and it appears that, conveniently, whenever the radio station was closed, nothing was put away or taken down, not even the last record that was playing. And there’s not a speck of dust to be found. They decide to plug it in and see if it still works and it appears that the record player is even still turned on and the station id playing. How convenient!Oh and I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least mention Screech here doing his Don King impersonation, even though it has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the episode.
The gang all invade Mr. Belding’s office to ask about the old radio station and Mr. Belding tells them that it was the most happening station around back in the 1960s. And it was run by the Big Bopper! Wait…didn’t he die in a plane crash with Buddy Holly and Richie Valens in 1959?
Oh, it’s just Mr. Belding wearing a bad hippie get-up. Wait, the writers do know that the Big Bopper was an actual historical person, right? I actually find using his name for this episode a bit tacky and disrespectful. Would they have considered calling Mr. Belding “Jimmi Hendrix” or “the Beatle?”
Anyway, the six practically beg Mr. Belding to let them start the station back up, but it’s Zack Morris and Slater’s sucking up and ass kissing, as well as a rousing chant of “Bopper! Bopper! Bopper! that finally tips the scales. It hits Mr. Belding right in his weakest spot: his ego.
At The Max, Zack Morris is handing out all the assignments for the radio station, including Slater as sportscaster, when Max brings over a plate of very small hamburgers. Max says his costs have gone sky high and he’s been forced to cut back, which means he had to send an employee up the street to White Castle to pick up some sliders. Gee, I wonder if this is going to figure into the episode.We cut to the first day on the air and “Wolfman” Zack, who badly needs to be neutered along with his sound effects incompetent sidekick Screech. We get a taste of a typical broadcast day at KKTY, including Jessie reporting on students going poo, Lisa reporting on that slut Debbie DeMarcos getting a new sweater, “Kelly Desire” giving masturbatory fantasies to all the horny teenage boys at Bayside, and Screech telling not-so-scary stories in a really bad monster voice.
Next it’s time for Slater’s sports report, which is apparently introduced by band music, along with Kelly and Jessie dancing despite the fact it’s the radio and no one can see them dancing. And Slater completely sucks ass. Not only does he have no radio voice or personality coming through, but he keeps honking a horn in the microphone for no discernible reason.
At The Max, the gang is debating on whether or not to be honest and tell Slater how he really was. They ask three random extras what they think of Slater, and they say that Slater naturally sucks ass. Oh, and That Guy has a rare speaking part!
Instead of telling Slater the truth, they decide to rewrite his copy to give him as little time on the air as possible. Because Slater’s oblivious, he buys their report of their listeners liking it “short, fast, and often.”
Jessie comes in…wait a second! The music playing at the station is just the generic music that plays on every episode of Saved by the Bell. Come on…they couldn’t even fork out the money to get the rights to a couple songs so they could sound like a legitimate radio station? The laziness is shameful.
Anyway, Jessie comes in and tells Zack Morris that she discovered that the “Bayside School District” owns The Max. Wait, first of all, why is the school district called Bayside? But, this explanation does help explain why so many school-related functions happen at The Max. And it turns out that the evil school board is demanding Max pay $10,000 in back rent or they’ll turn The Max into a parking lot. Oh the humanity! Not The Max, that place where stuff happens that could happen on practically any other set of the show!Jessie immediately goes on the air to report what she’s found, all the while calling the school board greedy, irresponsible, and deceitful. Wait…if Max hasn’t been paying rent, how is the school board being irresponsible? And if Jessie found out, they can’t be too deceitful.
We cut to Mr. Belding’s office where he’s lecturing Zack Morris and Jessie about over exaggerating on live radio. Mr. Belding says every member of the school board has called threatening to have him fired, which seems unlikely since rogue students can be disciplined, and Zack Morris is all broken up over it.
Mr. Belding says he’s not sticking his neck out for the radio station…again…and Zack Morris smells a rat.
In the hallway, the gang are reading the school newspaper’s review of their station, which apparently loves all of them except Slater. And, wouldn’t you know it, Slater comes down the stairs right as they’re reading about him.
The gang try to cover up the truth with a non-clever rouse about scratching their backs, but Screech runs up and spills the beans about the paper not liking Slater. Slater’s all, “Boo hoo hoo. My friends tried to spare my feelings instead of telling me the truth and now I feel all emotional! I’m going to quit the radio station and enter therapy to repair myself of these deep dark scars!” After a commercial, Slater is listening to his replacement, who has the original name of “Ronald Geekman” reporting on chess. Seriously, that’s really his name. I guess Brandon McJockperson and Anita Sportsreporter were busy. But, really the lesson here is that, if your jock sports reporter doesn’t work out, the obvious next choice is someone from the chess club.Max walks up and Slater is all, “Boo hoo hoo! Nobody likes me! I’m a loser and my friends let me down!” And Max is all, “Shut the fuck up! You kids loiter in my establishment and cost me revenue to the point that I may have to shut down my livelihood, and you’re whining about a stupid fucking school newspaper not liking you?” Or Max may have given Slater some clichéd advice about believing in yourself. It was one of the two.
Back at Bayside, Jessie comes up with the same school newspaper in hand, only this time it’s from 1968 and it reports about Mr. Belding mooning the school board. Apparently, if someone gets out of line in a school function, the solution is to completely shut down said function rather than punishing and replacing the student. Mr. Belding was apparently the Zack Morris of the ’60s, which I find unlikely. Not that him going to Bayside makes any sense at all anyway since he once told Major Slater he served in the Indiana National Guard and since he was once principal of a middle school in Indiana, but who the hell cares about continuity on this stupid show?
Zack Morris confronts Mr. Belding with pictures of Belding’s naked ass, because that’s apparently fit to print even though, at the time, the radio station had just been shut down for doing something the school board didn’t like. Zack Morris is all, “Why can’t you be more like you were in the ’60s and show us all your hot hairy ass?” Mr. Belding’s all, “Quit your idiotic comparisons” but Zack Morris pulls his trump card of pretending that Mr. Belding is no longer young and hip. This instantly convinces Mr. Belding to go along with Zack Morris’s manipulation.We cut to The Max where KKTY is broadcasting on location at The Max for a special telethon to save The Max, complete with the resurrected Big Bopper there to support them.
The telethon programming first consists of Lisa giving incomplete gossip reports to manipulate the student body into pledging money.Then Screech does the worst impression of Ed O’Neil I’ve ever seen in my life. I mean, it’s bad guys. And, yeah, this is another “best seen to be believed” moment.
And, somehow, even given how horrible this programming is, they’ve managed to raise $2,853. And a jump cut later they’re up to $8,034! It’s amazing how jump cuts can conveniently push along a plot! Slater calls and donates his life savings of $100 but won’t come down to The Max because he’ll only “ruin everything.” No, no, no! Tell that to Screech! At least Slater is sometimes likeable! The gang think they’re doing great and they still have the whole night ahead of them but then we cut to everyone sleeping, including Screech. I’m praying one of those extras behind him will just kick him. Maybe they’re one of the extras he claims in his book he fucked. Another cut and we’re up to $8,431. But oh no! Even the Big Bopper himself has fallen asleep, which is quite an accomplishment considering he’s been dead for thirty-one years at this point! Slater comes in, wakes everyone up, and commanders the show, demanding everyone support the place where he feels accepted and that was once willing to throw him a Hawaiian themed farewell party when he didn’t leave. The phones all start ringing again because giving an emotional speech automatically draws uncommitted listeners to call in and the episode ends. I guess we’re left to assume that the telethon was successful since The Max is around for at least another ten years, but who knows since this is Max’s final actual appearance on the show. Maybe they ruined his business after all? Firsts: The radio station.