Saved by the Bell Season 2, Episode 14: “The Babysitters”

vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h23m16s89 It’s our second out of season episode for season two, and we open with the gang, including Screech, who forgot to put his clothes on, gathered at The Max because Kelly has called them there for an emergency.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h23m53s192Oh god, it’s a baby episode. Meet Kelly’s baby brother, Billy, who will never be seen or mentioned again after this episode. The premise of this episode is that Kelly’s parents have been snowed in at one of those notorious Los Angeles ski lodges in the horrible Los Angeles blizzards. Kelly has to babysit Billy until they get back because there are no other adults in her life who can do it nor are there any such things as daycare services in the Saved by the Bell universe, so the natural choice is to ask your teenage daughter to play hookie from school so she can babysit.

Kelly has an Earth shattering dilemma, though: she has to get her cheerleading photo taken during first period and she needs the gang to watch Billy in the meantime. I think this is what they call first world white people problems. Oh, and, apparently Lisa and Jessie are suddenly not cheerleaders anymore since they’re not concerned with getting their pictures taken. Of course, the real reason is it’s not convenient to the plot, but the writers hope we’re too stupid to realize that.

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The gang reluctantly agrees at Slater’s urging but then promptly leave the baby in the sole care of the second most incompetent member of the gang so they can all go and tend to their own first world problems. So, what does Zack Morris decide to do?vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h25m37s215

Why, take the baby to school in a gym bag. He’s had the baby exactly thirty seconds and he’s already acting the neglectful babysitter. What is it with just randomly bringing kids to Bayside? I’m sure there’s some kind of rule against that. vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h27m26s38

The bell rings and Zack Morris ends up in French class with his teacher, Madame Oeuf, who does one of the worst fake French accents I’ve ever heard.
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What follows is a minute and a half of one of the worst gags I’ve yet to see on this show. Billy starts crying at random intervals that make me think the director has never heard an actual baby cry. Madame Oeuf, being the type of idiot that adults on this show usually are, can’t tell the difference between a baby crying and Zack Morris doing a French accent.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h29m00s139

So Madame Oeuf encourages all the extras in the room to imitate Billy’s crying. And that’s it, for a full minute and a half, until Lisa just walks right in the room and whispers something in Zack Morris’s ear, causing Zack Morris to exclaim, “Kelly did what!” and then say he had to go, because it’s perfectly acceptable to walk out of class whenever you want as long as it moves the plot along. Oh, and the extras, still imitating Zack Morris, say they all have to go and stand up and leave.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h29m44s104

In the hallway, we find out that Kelly broke her arm getting her picture taken, and there’s not even an attempt to hide Billy at this point. Keeping in the spirit of the idiocy of this episode, no extras or adults even bat an eye at Zack Morris having a baby because young Kapowski children have free reign to come and go at Bayside whenever they want.

Jessie and Lisa suggest that they should leave the baby with the school nurse or Mr. Belding because I’m sure neither of them have anything better to do in their day than babysit a child that shouldn’t be there to begin with. Zack Morris insists that he’s the best incompetent babysitter around and he’s going to see it out.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h30m42s200 Yeah, the yearbook photographer is Max, who’s been hired without Mr. Belding’s knowledge and is even being paid…without Mr. Belding’s knowledge. Yeah, that’s not how it works guys. Max says he was hired because photography is his hobby. I mean, it’s not like he has a restaurant to run or anything so he might as well just randomly come take lots of picture of Bayside. Actually, that’s sounding kind of creepy now.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h31m29s129

In the locker room, lucky Billy has just witnessed Zack Morris and Slater change into their sports clothes for pictures. Once again, coming back to this episode’s theme of first world problems, Zack Morris has to find someone to watch Billy while he gets his picture taken for track. Slater says he’ll do it after wrestling picture.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h31m52s142

The baby starts crying so Slater thinks may he should give Billy his ding dong in case he’s hungry for one. They realize he needs to be changed and proceed to take his diaper off. We get some full frontal baby nudity and, of all the things they could have managed to get right on this show, they managed to get the right sex of baby.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h32m27s226

Considering that Billy is very naked from the waist down, it makes.the way this extra comes up to stare at Billy extremely creepy.

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But, yeah, the idiots two get the diaper off but then decide to argue about who gets the privilege of covering Billy’s nether regions. Their idiocy manages to get the last diaper torn in half. Slater runs off and Zack Morris walks to a locker. For a second, I was horrified as I thought Zack Morris was about to just stick him in the locker, but, instead, Zack Morris gets out one of Slater’s t-shirts and wraps Billy in it.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h34m34s217

We then get a dream sequence of Zack Morris imagining what it will be like to be father to a blonde headed hell spawn. We get elementary age.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h35m06s32

Good Morning, Miss Bliss age.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h35m33s37 And about to be on The College Years age. In all three ages, the running gag is Zack Morris is too smart for his hell spawn’s antics. Yeah, even the audience sounds like they’re half-heartedly laughing.

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The writers manage to forget that they just established a couple minutes earlier that Slater was going to watch Billy while Zack Morris got his picture taken, so, in order to move what little plot this episode has along, he pawns the baby off on Jessie and Lisa. By some great coincidence, it happens to be the day where everyone plays with baby dolls in their home economics class.
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Their teacher, Mrs. Hatcher, is played by the aunt from Step by Step, and does a good job of adhering to the all adults are idiots rule as she doesn’t realize Billy’s crying is not coming from one of the plastic dolls.

For some reason, Max needs a photo of the home ec class for the yearbook. During the photo, Screech comes in to pick up Billy.
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Because Screech is a complete moron, he can’t tell the difference between a doll and a real baby…
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…and he ends up bringing Zack Morris one of the dolls. As if this plot wasn’t convoluted enough, not only do Jessie and Lisa not notice he got the wrong “baby,” they don’t notice that Billy, a living, breathing, human being, is still in the room, and leave him behind. When they return to look for him, they discover that Billy must have taken his first steps in the interim because he’s not in the room. We can only hope Mrs. Hatcher discovered him and called Child Protective Services.

Because we needed even more plot convenience, Kelly picks this moment to come back before the gang can search for Billy.
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Max just so happens to walk up as well at this moment and they ask Max to take pictures of Kelly while the gang searches for Billy.
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Their method of searching involves moving at the speed of light in and out of the various lockers.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h43m23s137The intercom comes on with some crying, and the gang rush into Mr. Belding’s office to find out that a semi-competent adult has Billy. The gang manage to convince Mr. Belding that he didn’t find an abandoned baby but, instead, has memory loss about agreeing to watch Billy during the yearbook photos so that Kelly doesn’t find out how completely incompetent her friends are.
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Max comes in and randomly takes a picture of the rest of the cast with a baby so that Bayside can always remember that babies are allowed to come to school whenever adults are too incompetent to find a proper babysitter.vlcsnap-2014-07-26-17h46m10s5And our pointless, pointless episode ends with Billy saying his first words, “This episode is fucking stupid, almost worse than the ‘Screech is an alien’ episode from two weeks ago!” Or it may have been, “Zack.” It’s one or the other.

Firsts: A baby at Bayside.

4 responses to “Saved by the Bell Season 2, Episode 14: “The Babysitters”

  1. If I remember correctly, it was “This episode is fucking stupid, almost worst than the ‘Screech is an alien’ episode from two weeks ago”, but I think I was 10 the last time I saw this one so my memory is kind of fuzzy. But I’m going with that.

    To be fair, French does sound like someone vomiting through their nose, so a baby’s cry probably isn’t that far off…

  2. Ugh, this episode. Yeah, this was pretty terrible.

    In fact, all of the held-back season 1 episodes (“Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind”, “The Babysitters”, “Slater’s Friend”, and “Screech’s Birthday”) are very corny, so I’m guessing that’s why they were held back.

  3. I remember this episode well from its first run. I didn’t think the plot was funny then and I was the target demographic for the show. So this episode was filmed when Max was still around, maybe this is the reason he got shipped off the show. He was sent away due to his “hobby” of photographing teenagers for no reason.

  4. Parminder Dhillon

    I don’t like this episode much either its an obvious season 1 episode added in season 2 and a baby hanging around in the school the other episode was with Kelly’s sister Nikki hanging around there when she doesn’t even attend Bayside in 1-900 crushed.

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