We open with Zack Morris declaring that Screeh and Violet are the hottest couple at Bayside despite the fact that this is only the second time we’ve seen Violet. I guess Screech has been hiding her in his closet to use as his personal love toy. Either that or the writers of this show have no idea what to do with a recurring character who isn’t the focus of the episode.
Violet tries to convince the gang to join the Glee Club but no one except Screech wants to join because singing is hella stupid despite the fact the girls were once part of a rocking girl group. Screech only wants to be a part because he’s hoping to get some poon. The gang change their mind, though, when Violet mentions the possibility of a trip to Hawaii for the finals of the “All-City Competition.” If it’s all CITY, why are the finals being held in Hawaii? Are the writers under the impression Hawaii is a city in California? Also, it’s totally possible for six people to join a club a week before a major competition in the Saved by the Bell universe.
The Glee Club is lead by Bayside’s most versatile incompetent faculty member, Mr. Tuttle. Geez, how many degrees does this guy have? He teaches everything!
…they suck ass! But the most important question in this scene is what the hell is Scott Wolf doing there? Yes, the boy to the right of Jessie in the orange shirt is future Party of Five star Scott Wolf. Turns out that, before he became a big name, Scott slummed around as a background character on Saved by the Bell. This is the first of several episodes he’ll be in. It’ll be a fun game, like Where’s Waldo. He’s also quite literally one of only three members of the club who aren’t either a part of the gang or a stereotypical nerd. How did this club exist before the gang joined?
Mr. Belding tells Mr. Tuttle the Glee Club has to shape up or he won’t allow them to compete at the All-City Competition since it’s being held (surprise, surprise) at Bayside.
Also Lisa randomly has a cold.
At Zack Morris’s house, Zack Morris and Screech are thinking up ways they can whip the club into shape. Violet calls Screech because she assumes that, if he’s not home or at school, he has nowhere else to be than Zack Morris’s house. Violet invites them to a concert at Cal U. Zack Morris doesn’t want to go at first until he finds out the Cal U Glee Club is performing.
I’m briefly distracted by Screech doing a disturbing kissy face into the phone, but I’m more impressed by the fact that The College Years actually used a place that had already been established as existing in this universe. This begs the question why they invented a place and didn’t just use a real university in this episode but this is Saved by the Bell. They might have actually believed it existed at first.
The next day, Mr. Belding comes to see the club rehearse. Zack Morris apparently has access to high end recording and playback equipment because not only does he have a completely clear, perfect recording of the Cal U Glee Club, but his playback sounds genuinely like they’re singing it. Mr. Belding is fooled and Mr. Tuttle is happy because the plan has bought him some time to think of a real solution since the judges for the competition probably won’t be as huge idiots as Mr. Belding.
After a commercial break, Zack Morris tells us that he and Mr. Tuttle have come up with a plan since adults are stupid on their own in the universe. The plan is to feature only the best singers and hide everyone else in the background. Uh, I think that defeats the purpose of a glee club.
Oh no! Jessie is wearing a mask because she doesn’t want to get Lisa’s cold even though Lisa is sitting closer to Zack Morris than to her. I wonder if this will in any way play into the plot in a few minutes.
Violet is up and she demonstrates how Aaron Spelling’s money can buy great singing lessons. It turns out she’s inexplicably the best singer of the bunch. This naturally makes her the star, which she doesn’t want to be, but Screech says he’ll be right there behind her preparing to grope her if she gets nervous. Also, despite the fact they’re Bayside’s hottest couple, Violet’s family haven’t met Screech so they want him to have dinner with them on Saturday night.
Screech is nervous about meeting Violet’s parents since they’re rich and rich people are completely different than upper middle class people. He naturally gets advice from the five worst sources on the planet, which basically amounts to telling Violet’s mother she looks like a celebrity.
We get it in fantasy sequence framing even though this isn’t technically a fantasy sequence…I think…and the first problem is Screech doesn’t seem to know how to wear a tie, even though we’ve seen him do it many times before. He tells Violet’s mother she looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger and her father that 7th Heaven was the worst piece of shit he ever put his name on. He makes a stupid comment about frog’s legs, doesn’t know how to eat posh food, and pulls the table cloth off the table. Oh, the non-existent hilarity!
Violet comes in, tells Mr. Tuttle that she’s quitting the Glee Club, and runs back out, leaving Screech to believe that she hates him. No, Screech, everyone hates you, not just Violet. You’re responsible for that Lifetime movie after all. Zack Morris tells Jessie she’ll have to take over since she’s the only other good singer but, oh no, Jessie’s caught Lisa’s cold and lost her voice! I’m glad that small, minor detail turned out to be a plot contrivance!
Even though Lisa was one-third of Hot Sundae, she can’t sing because she’s under contract to Chiquita Bananas. Seriously, this is the character who was supposed to be the fashion expert…
The girls find Violet in the restroom crying and she tells them that her parents forbid her to see Screech because Aaron Spelling doesn’t want a future porn star dating his teenage daughter.
We cut to Zack Morris consoling Screech over the lost of Violet. Don’t worry,you’ll always have each other. Violet comes in and tells Screech about her parents. Screech agrees to take a backstage position so Violet can sing because…being in the same club means they’re still dating? I don’t know. It’s stupid and we’ve only got about five minutes left.
Violet’s parents, including Not-Aaron Spelling, come backstage and decide that Screech and Violet being in the same vicinity means they were getting ready to fuck. Not-Aaron Spelling has the same misogynistic problems as many of the male characters on this show since he proceeds to speak on behalf of his wife without consultation and tells Violet how much they’re both disappointed in her for defying them. Come on, chief. Learn to use “I” statements, not “we” statements. Violet runs off in tears.
…and Zack Morris calls a time out to give his Cal U bootleg to Screech to play while Scott Wolf looks confused he’s still in this episode. I still don’t understand how Zack Morris’s warping of time and space works, especially since Screech is exempt from it here.
He then makes cassette ribbon spew out at him from a part of the machine that looks like a reel to reel player and shouldn’t have anything to do with the tape deck. He also makes the machine blow up.
Don’t worry, though, Screech is suddenly back in the glee club and comes out to do a duet with Violet. They complete the performance and find themselves at The Max, where the gang is impressed with what Screech did for Violet. Randomly coming out on stage and doing a duet is now praise-worthy.
Violet and her parents come in. Screech’s soft melody was enough to melt their icy hearts, and they give Screech permission to date their daughter, which is great because the writers need to bring her back one more time before she moves to 90210.
Firsts: Scott Wolf, Cal U is mentioned.
And that’s it for season two of Saved by the Bell. It’s not technically the halfway point of the series in terms of episodes since seasons three and four are going to take me, quite literally, six months each to finish. It is, however, the halfway point in terms of seasons. Given this, I’m going to have some bonuses next week. In addition to my normal The New Class review on Monday and a season recap on Wednesday, I will have bonus reviews on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Then, join me next Friday as we kick off season three of Saved by the Bell!