Saved by the Bell Season 3, Episode 3: “The Aftermath”

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While the gang was at Malibu Sands last week, it seems everyone’s heard about Kelly’s ways. This extra wants to molest Zack Morris’s shoulder. Slater’s jealous that all he has is Jessie’s dried up vagina.
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This extra is hoping the shock of Kelly’s whoring will make Zack Morris try the gay. Jessie’s all, “I bet he has a bigger penis than Slater.”vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h02m55s24

Zack Morris pretends he’s not upset by Kelly breaking up with him, but his obsession shows through and would be enough to make him a suspect on CSI. I am curious how he got all those Tiger Beat photos of Kelly and why that’s not making him jealous.

Oh and it’s Lisa’s sixteenth birthday at the end of the episode. Yeah, I guess it’s important you know that. Kelly wants to bring Jeff to Lisa’s party and everyone’s all, “We don’t want him molesting us.” Lisa says she doesn’t care who Kelly brings as long as she has a happy sixteenth birthday.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h03m56s41

Zack Morris randomly stands outside class obsessively staring at Kelly. He says he can’t let her know he’s miserable so he does his usual subpar acting.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h04m35s210

Oh Miss Simpson is back to her deaf ways. vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h05m31s45

She’s also out of touch with the student gossip and has Zack Morris and Kelly read a romantic poem to each other. Miss Simpson should hang out more at The Max to keep up with these things.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h06m11s173

Slate and Screech take Zack Morris out for a guy’s night out at the movies hoping to get his mind off Kelly so they can have a chance of getting a little somethin’ somethin’.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h07m14s44

But who should come in but Slutty McSlutterton and her boyfriend, creepy college guy. Yeah, in case you forgot he’s older than Kelly, the costumers put him in an oversized UCLA shirt. Slater and Screech try to keep Zack Morris from noticing but soon Kelly screams at the movie and jumps in Jeff’s arms, causing Zack Morris to get up and walk out before Screech has a chance to do the same.

Back at Bayside and, in no way dating this series, Lisa tells Jessie she wants to fuck M.C. Hammer for her birthday. Guess Milli Vanilli and Kid ‘n Play were too busy. Meanwhile Zack Morris tells Lisa he can’t come to her party if Kelly is there, which seems quite reasonable considering how recently they broke up.

Kelly comes up and Jessie and Lisa are all, “How dare you see a movie in the same city as Zack Morris.” vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h11m45s191

Zack Morris decides it’s time to study in order to get his mind off Kelly and get a good score on the SATs later in the season. Kelly’s name is everywhere, though, and God is punishing Zack Morris for being Zack Morris by reminding him of her sluttiness.

The rest of the gang come in and decide that the solution to Zack Morris’s depression is to date other women, which is horrible advice. Jessie also thinks he should just snap out of it. Once again, horrible advice that will push a suicidal person off a ledge. God he has awful friends.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h13m21s136

Zack Morris agrees to go on the dates, and first up is Sue, who can’t stop talking in the middle of the movie but, for some reason, is not being ejected from the theater.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h13m46s128

Then there’s Cassie and she’s fat and eats a lot and is unlovable and it’s funny. Really, what goes through these girls’ minds when they’re told they’re going to play someone who Zack Morris refuses to date because they’re too fat?vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h14m25s255

The final contestant is Screech’s cousin, Kimberly, whom Zack Morris thinks is just right. Zack Morris also appears to be seeing the same movie over and over again. The local movie theater must only play the great film classic, Generic Film with the Sound of Gunfire. Also, Zack Morris asks Kimberly to go back to The Max with him so Jeff can steal another girl from him.

And now, ladies and gentleman, it’s time for your favorite game and mine, “Where’s Scott Wolf?” Where is that rascally scamp hiding today?vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h14m42s121

Aww, isn’t that cute! Scott Wolf is on a date with another extra. It’s good he was getting such vital roles in his pre-fame days.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h15m24s85

At The Max, Screech gets his nose stuck in a spoon for no reason. Meanwhile, Jeff encourages Kelly to make up with the gang.

Just then, Zack Morris and Kimberly walk in and, disturbingly enough, we find out that Powers family reunions involve them pinning a tail on one of their uncles. Also, Kimberly is adopted.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h17m06s79

Zack Morris flirts as much as he can in front of Kelly, ordering a milkshake for two and dancing to Muzak Track A12, which was his and Kelly’s song.
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Kelly comes back and is like, “How dare you try to make me feel bad for treating you like shit! Muzak Track A12 is a sacred bond between us that was never meant to be broken! I’m going to slap you, instantly getting the gang back on my side since it’s so horrible you’re dating the girl they set you up with!”
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Also, Kimberly overhears Zack Morris and Kelly’s conversation and decides that Zack Morris’s shirt needs a splash of chocolate.

At Bayside, Lisa and Jessie make up with Kelly and are all, “Your being a whore bag is so much better than Zack Morris dating the girl we set him up with.” They also tell Zack Morris that he’s a horrible person for feeling angry that Kelly cheated on him because that’s so something not to be angry about.
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Zack Morris has a mental break down and starts throwing Kelly’s wardrobe out of his locker. So…was the locker where they fucked? Mr. Belding finally has something to do this episode by punishing Zack Morris for being himself.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h21m06s174

Screech shows up to be Zack Morris’s date to Lisa’s party but Zack Morris is all, “Everyone hates me for being angry at Kelly so I can’t go because this plot makes so much sense!” vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h22m21s161

At Lisa’s party, she must have gotten struck by lightning because she’s gained the ability to psychically tell what is in all the packages simply by shaking them. Kelly and Jeff show up and Jeff instantly wins Slater over because he’s also a wrestler. Wrestling apparently cures all in the Saved by the Bell universe. Maybe Zack Morris just needs to wrestle with everyone. Jessie is all, “Jeff, I hated you because Kelly is a slut but now I realize that if you were good enough for Kelly to cheat on our friend with, you’re good enough for us.”

Kelly’s upset when she finds out Zack Morris isn’t coming and tells Slater and Lisa that she never meant to hurt him. Slater’s all, “We know. You were just being a selfish bitch who had no thought of how her actions would effect others.”vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h24m53s140

Time for birthday cake, and birthday cake magically makes Zack Morris appear out of thin air.vlcsnap-2014-09-17-19h25m34s40

 

Zack Morris tells Kelly, “The writers didn’t want to make this a three part episode so they decided I should forget all about my emotions and just pretend like nothing ever happened.” Also, Jeff is eyeing Kelly to make sure she doesn’t have any plans to cheat on her current boyfriend with her ex-boyfriend, since she does have a history of that sort of thing. Zack Morris tells Kelly they can be friends, which I assume is passive aggressive talk for “Die, you stupid bitch.” He also tells Jeff to treat Kelly well, which I guess is code for, “Kelly likes to be pile drived doggy style while you play with her nipples.”

And everyone lives happily ever after when Zack Morris decides to whore it up with a random girl at the party because everyone on this show is apparently a sociopath.

6 responses to “Saved by the Bell Season 3, Episode 3: “The Aftermath”

  1. Man, I hate this two-parter. I especially hate how everyone automatically takes Kelly’s side. Yeah, Zack was a bit of a douche by being romantic with his new girlfriend in front of Kelly, but she was way worse. This two-parter destroyed Kelly’s character (until another two-parter on The College Years destroyed her again, but you’ll get to that in time).

    The syndication cut of this episode cut out the date that Slater had set Zack up on. Interestingly, the season 4 clips episode, “Isn’t It Romantic?”, includes this cut scene.

    Also, these two episodes were the last episodes taped in 1990. I’m guessing they were originally meant to be the season 2 finale.

  2. Find Scott Wolf is my new favorite game, next to cards against humanity! I actually never realized he was in this episode, I do remember him in 2 others. Surprised he didn’t attend Lisa’s party because he was already being an extra that day. Fantastic review!

  3. Dont forget to recap the episode when payback comes knocking on kellys door in the form of a bitch named jennifer who captured jeffs attention and got kelly to realize those high school hormones for college guys are deceptive if you think not putting out will keep him loyal. But kellys the victim and jeff is the jerk. Despite the fact that she did the same thing to zack, shes just a high school girl roped in by a predatory college kid. When zack had the hots for the school nurse, he was the purest of evil, but kellys just naive. Of course, the nurse just was cute, and jeff made a move. But even so, what a delight in what goes around comes around. High school romance. At least zack gotta college girl, even if first base was all his bat would be swinging at.

  4. Zack’s friends are so fucking shitty to him. I hate this episode. And fuck Kelly.

  5. Kelly had a lady boner and it wasn’t for Zach Morris. It was a persistent lady boner that wouldn’t go back down. I didn’t like Jeff very much, but Kelly’s lady boner was for him and him alone.

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