We open with Screech doing the announcements in the middle of the hallway since all the students that matter are assembled there at the same time. Lindsay is suddenly the “activities chairperson” and announces that the annual Bayside Ball is Saturday night.
And the announcement comes complete with Bobby doing flips through the hallway because getting a concussion wouldn’t mean liability for the school or anything. Brian’s naturally excited about the ball because it means he may get his Swiss rocks off, but Rachel tells him he might as well forget it since the history final is tomorrow and, if she doesn’t get a B, she’s grounded. Brian’s all, “But what about my burning needs!” and Rachel’s like, “It’s hopeless!” Meanwhile, it’s time to complicate the timeline of this whole damned season even more. See, Mr. Belding tells Screech that Cal U sent an evaluation for Screech’s first semester at Bayside. Now I’ve been assuming that maybe this season just takes place over an extended amount of time, but it’s impossible to think this after this bombshell. See, Rachel and Brian are definitely dating, and that didn’t happen until the country club episodes, which take place during the summer, so this is not an out-of-order episode. Yeah, I hate these writers. They’re not even trying.
Anyway, our stupid subplot is that Screech is worried about getting a bad review since he’s a complete incompetent dumb ass and recruits Tommy D, Lindsay, and Bobby to help him look good so they have something to do during this episode.Meanwhile, the history teacher is the maid from Diff’rent Strokes, and she appears to have been driven crazy by so many years of cleaning Gary Coleman’s underwear. She’s the third teacher we’ve seen at Bayside who seems to take pleasure in her students failing and assures the class that she will have revenge for being subjugated to Gary Coleman’s every whim.
After the students leave, she has trouble printing the test and does the logical thing: she hits the printer with the instruction manual. I think the problem is you didn’t actually print the test from the computer; you just pushed a button on the printer and then hit it. The printer does not read your mind. Seriously, where does Bayside find their faculty? In an asylum?
Brian comes in and tries to help insane maid but can’t do anymore then she could so she marches out to find a geek to help her.
After she leaves, the test prints out. Brian realizes what it is and Tommy D walks in just at the right moment to be a sounding board for Brian, who’s agonizing over whether to keep the final or not. He initially throws it away but then takes it with him as the audience all goes, “OOOOOH!” They’re a special kind of audience, aren’t they?
Screech’s first way to impress Mr. Belding is to have Lindsay, Tommy D, and Bobby fight over the food to serve at the Bayside Ball so he can solve it for them. Mr. Belding comes in and asks why the fuck Screech solved such a petty argument and Screech feels down that his plan to make Mr. Belding think he wasn’t incompetent didn’t work.
At The Max, Megan helps Rachel study for the final but soon realizes Rachel is a hopeless case and gets the hell out of there so she can get back to her life of doing nothing. Brian comes in and tells Rachel what to study for the final. Rachel’s initially skeptical but soon decides that Brian’s a man so he must know about history and stuff.
The next day, Gary Coleman’s servant is delighted to think of all the Fs she gets to give that night on the final. Outside, Megan tells Brian that the final was brutal because of an essay question on the Boston Tea Party. Seriously, what’s so hard about that? Was it asking what brand tea the colonists used like the insane teacher back in “The Fabulous Belding Boys?”
Rachel, though, is overjoyed because everything Brian told her to study just happened to be on the test. Gee, what a coincidence! She must be acting the part of “dumb as Tommy D” this episode.
Screech’s next plan to impress Mr. Belding is to pretend Lindsay is choking so he can manhandle her as he pretends to give her the Heimlich maneuver. Tommy D gets frustrated because he’s an idiot and can’t remember they’re playing pretend so he pushes Screech aside and manhandles his ex-girlfriend in Screech’s place. Thus, Mr. Belding thinks Screech doesn’t know how to do basic first aid.
Rachel has Brian under the podium giving her the answers and fingerbanging her on the side. Mr. Belding is the judge, which apparently means he dreses in Revolutionary War era wigs, unless the writers are implying they don’t understand that the American judicial system doesn’t use judicial wigs like the British system does. Mr. Belding just happens to be psychic and realizes Brian and Rachel are cheating, which means Rachel doesn’t get the grand prize of a full scholarship to college.
Instead, she gets to go share a bed with Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges while Mr. Drummond goes to confront that creepy, molestery bicycle salesman that’s trying to touch Dudley’s no-no zone.
At school the next day, Megan and Rachel are the only students that passed the final, but Rachel got an A and Megan got a B+, which pisses Megan the hell off since Rachel hella sucks in history. Megan accuses Rachel of cheating and Rahcel’s all, “I didn’t cheat! My boyfriend just happens to know all the answers to the test!” They march off in opposite directions after a cat fight. At The Max, Ron comes in wearing his underwear on his head because he went onto Valley’s turf and they decided to take all his clothes off and rearrange them on their body. This sounds like a job for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
This gives Screech an idea, though, and he recruits Tommy D and Bobby to pretend to be Valley students and throw cream pies at Mr. Belding. Yeah nothing could possibly go wrong with this.
Rachel tells Brian that her lifelong friendship with Megan is over because of one bitch moment from Megan. She can’t possibly be friends with someone who would think she would cheat. YOU CAN’T POSSIBLY BE THIS FUCKING STUPID!
Brian asks Screech if “a friend” were to give another friend the answers to a final, would it be cheating? Screech is all, “I’m a complete dumb ass but even I know that’s cheating. Your friend should be force fed caffeine pills and made to watch back to back episodes of The Chevy Chase Show.
In Mr. Belding’s office, Mr. Belding thinks it’s creepy as hell that Screech keeps smelling him. He tells him that he smells trouble in the air and Mr. Belding is all, “What the hell is that even supposed to mean?” Lindsay rushes in and tells them that some kids from Valley are going to get Mr. Belding.
They hear a knock on Mr. Belding’s door and Screech thinks it’s his dumb ass plan being set into motion. Instead, Brian rushes in with Rachel and Megan behind him. Brian confesses to Mr. Belding and the girls that he gave Rachel the answers to the final but that Rachel didn’t know. Rachel and Megan instantly make-up since Megan realizes what a bitch she’s been and Rachel realizes what an idiot she’s been.
Mr. Belding tells Brian he’s impressed and that it must have taken a lot of courage to come to him. Brian says that being emasculated by Screech made him realize what he had to do. Mr. Belding is so impressed with Screech’s attempt at being a responsible adult that he lets Screech finish dealing with the situation.
Since Rachel’s a complete dumb ass, she gets to do a make-up test Monday. Brian is suspended for two days and doesn’t get to go to the Bayside Ball. Everyone seems really satisfied after these relatively light actions.
After the three leave, Screech asks Mr. Belding if his half-ass handling of this situation is going to be in his evaluation. Mr. Belding says it won’t since he sent back the evaluation the day he received it. Mr. Belding’s high on LSD and tells Screech that he’s already doing a great job and got a good evaluation and all this staged shit wasn’t necessary. Screech forgets about his last stupid plan when a knock on the door is heard.Tommy D and Bobby hit Mr. Belding in the face with the pies and our episode ends with Mr. Belding ready to murder Screech and yearning for the days when he could try and sneak peaks at Miss Bliss’s hot rack.