In case you went brain dead after reading this week’s The New Class review, Zack Morris highlights for us what happened last week in part one. Also, we see the crashed car for the first time, and they’re not even trying here. I mean, that doesn’t even look like Lisa’s driving it. It just looks like they attached her hat to the back of the seat. Maybe Lisa is really Claude Rains and has discovered the secret to invisibility!
Also, the only thing that appears to be wrong with this car is that the hood is up. I can fix that for them!
Of course, the episode properly opens with Zack Morris and Slater looking over the damage to the car, and it looks a lot worse than it did in the recap. Maybe underwear gnomes took it for a spin after the recap?
They idiotically let Screech help out, too. That would explain why the car looks worse now than in the recap.
Slater says that the car has at least $600 worth of damage, and a stupid comment from Screech gives Zack Morris an idea. We also get the mental image of Screech naked in a jar full of jelly beans, which I never wanted to imagine and will now be seeking psychiatric help to erase from my mind.
At The Max, Lisa recaps to Jessie everything that happened in part one so that we can get two recaps. Yay, they think we forgot the first one in the last two and a half minutes. Oh, and Lisa’s so excited she got to be in an accident! Oh my god!
Back at Bayside, Zack Morris, Slater, and Screech hatch their plan to have a fake lottery. The goal is to rig the thing so Screech wins. Mr. Sachs needed one more episode so the winner will be announced in his algebra class…this afternoon.
Unfortunately, not appearing in the Malibu Sands episodes mean the producers have to include Mr. Belding in some more episodes and he’s back two days early. Mr. Belding wants to play his new “Bo Jackson Sings the Blues” album in the car. Boy, that dates this episode. I wonder if kids today even know who Bo Jackson is. Zack Morris and Slater spout some bull shit to convince Mr. Belding not to look for the car and they hope shenanigans don’t ensue throughout the rest of the episode. After a commercial break, we cut to Mr. Sach’s algebra class where Zack Morris announces how they’ll pick the winner of the lottery. Mr. Sachs will pick an algebra question from his box. The person with the last five numbers of the answer wins $600. That…seems like an unlikely way to pick a winner. What if the answer is less than five digits, or what if the answer contains a variable? Come on, writers, I know you never took algebra, but you can do better than this!
Of course, he assumes this means that algebra is the new cool thing in the teen world and thinks he’s being turned into the new teen idol who will get lots of underage poon.
Zack Morris puts his plan into motion by having Screech commit a federal offense and set off the fire alarm. After Mr. Sachs and the students leave, Screech switches boxes. This assures that the answer matches Screech’s ticket. This is kind of a funny scene but it’s still a stupid plan since anyone with half a brain cell should be able to figure out that the answer may be something not on a ticket.
In the restroom that apparently now has a convenient bench for perving on students going number two (seriously, I don’t think they could figure out whether to use the locker room or restroom here), Screech doesn’t want to give up the money because he’s an idiot and apparently has no concept that he was just a pawn in a Zack Morris plan. Slater extorts the money out of him while conveniently telling the full plan.
But, uh oh! Eric was going poo and heard the whole thing! Eric tries to extort Slater’s car for his next hot fuck with Lisa, but Zack Morris lets him know that don’t nobody like his lying, cheating, scheming ass and he should just fuck Screech. He also lets him in that Lisa was part of the plan to set him up.
Eric’s upset that people don’t like his natural charm and charisma, so he goes to The Max to confront Lisa. She confesses to being a pawn in Zack Morris’s plan and rushes out telling her that she’s a horrible person for not liking him for his unlikeability.
And Lisa puts on her sad face. It looks more like someone’s tickling her on a roller coaster.
Back at Bayside, Mr. Sonski, the auto mechanics teacher, assumes that Mr. Belding’s car is a wreck for them to experiment on. Eric encourages him to take apart the car so they can learn more about the car. Screech encourages him not to do it but nobody gives a damn about Screech so he does it anyway.
It’s interesting that Screech, of all people, is in auto mechanics class and driving Mr. Sonski crazy. Does this mean that he failed auto mechanics and his back up plan was to be Mr. Belding’s administrative assistant? Either way, he’s incompetent at both professions.
At Jessie and Eric’s house, Jessie tries to reason with Eric about Lisa but he’s a douche and tells them about what he did to Mr. Belding’s car. She tells him that he’s a piece of crap that came from the asshole of Pat Robertson and that if she wasn’t just a weak defenseless little girl, she’d punch him out.
He calls her a chick, though, and this sends her into full bipolar mode, punching Eric out using a Looney Tunes sound effect. She’s all, “I wanted a brother who would capitulate to everything I did but you’re just a doo doo head!” and storms out of the room.
At The Max, Slater and Zack Morris have a lover’s tiff over Slater’s inability to put the whole car back together in time. As they prepare to eat with hands covered in oil, Zack Morris and Slater decide they could have been reasonable and just let Eric do whatever the hell he wanted last episode and this would have saved Mr. Belding’s car. No, not doing something dumb like entrusting your plan to Screech would have saved the fucking car!
They decide to tell Mr. Belding the truth but, before they can, he suddenly knows that it’s in the auto mechanics garage and decides to go play his Bo Jackson CD.
But, surprise surprise, it’s good as new since the prop department kept the one that wasn’t wrecked. Mr. Belding has to go take care of…a mice problem in the meat loaf (eeeeeeeeeew!) and leaves Zack Morris and Slater wondering how the car was put back together.
They discover Eric with a black eye underneath the car. Eric tells them he doesn’t fit in around here and he’s moving back to New York. He gives them the blackmail tapes and heads home to pack.
At home, Jessie’s happy that Eric fixed Mr. Belding’s car, but finds him packing his clothes, saying he’ll live with his uncle in New York. The gang, sans Kelly since she doesn’t appear in this episode, come in and tell them that his sudden change of heart means that all the crappy things he did in the first part are suddenly erased and they like him now. It’s almost as if Kelly’s inside their heads telling them that Eric is a good guy no matter how many shitty things he does.
Lisa kisses Eric and asks him not to go since she so rarely gets to date anyone on this show and it would keep Dumbass away from her.
Jessie asks Eric to stay and try to be a family and he agrees to stay around.And, as the episode ends, the newly loving step-siblings hug and ferment their newly found relationship, vowing for a closer and deeper relationship. I’m assuming that, since we never see Eric again, Jessie actually murdered him and buried his body next to Mikey and Nikki.
Firsts: Mr. Sonski, the auto shop.