The New Class Season 3, Episode 8: “Acting Jealous”

vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h39m51s166 What the hell, The New Class! Did Ryan and Lindsay just suddenly start dating in between episodes? I mean, it’s bad enough that wouldn’t surprise me, but what the hell? Did they really think we wouldn’t be confused about these episodes being out of order?

Anyway, yeah, they’ve been dating…a month. A fucking month. They’re being all cootsie wootsie about the whole think and making me want to throw up a little bit because they can’t stand to be apart for a second. This is to give the audience the best chance to lose their shit over this mushy stuff as possible.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h40m53s8

So let’s cut to Rachel and Maria in order to put things in perspective! Maria thinks they’re being fucking stupid but Rachel thinks it’s romantic and wishes she had a boyfriend like that instead of a fake Swiss guy who up and abandoned her in between seasons.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h41m14s242

Meanwhile, Screech wrote a play and Mr. Belding doesn’t think it sucks as so the logical thing to do is to just randomly put it on as a production at Bayside. Mr. Belding thinks it’s witty and shit. Yeah, we’ll see about that.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h41m49s70

So it’s time to skip directly to try outs, where R.J. does a musical number. Unfortunately, he’s an idiot and the play isn’t a musical.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h42m32s253

Next Maria gets fucking pissed because two nerds start talking during her audition. She tells them they better shut the fuck up before she sticks her foot up their ass.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h43m00s14

Tommy D’s real proud of himself for being able to move a chair and radio. Turns out he just wants to be the prop guy. Why is it the longer this season goes on, the more of a throwaway character Tommy D’s becoming? He’s not just an idiot anymore. His presence serves absolutely no purpose.
vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h43m22s240 Rachel gives a performance that actually shows up Sarah Lancaster’s usual acting. It’s pretty bad when an actress playing a character playing an actress is more convincing than the actress herself.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h44m04s142

Ryan and Lindsay give their performance next, and Lindsay sucks ass, which should surprise no one who’s watched this show the last three seasons.

So the auditions are for Cinderella, which we only find out while the auditions are going on. I may be crazy, but I don’t think Screech wrote Cinderella. It’s just a hunch I have.

Mr. Belding and Screech announce the cast. Maria will be playing the Wicked Stepmother, which she’s super excited about since that means she gets to be a bitch with an excuse. R.J. sucks so he’ll be playing three random roles without any lines. Ryan, of course, will be playing the handsome young prince because the alternative would be either Tommy D or paying for a guest star. And Lindsay will be playing, you guessed it, Griselda, the wicked step-sister!

Wait, that was a rather assholish way to announce Lindsay’s role. You know Lindsay wants the role of Cinderella so she can kiss Ryan in front of lots of people, so you announce her role in the logical place where Cinderella should be announced just to give her hopes up? Mr. Belding, you’re an asshole.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h45m20s133

Needless to say, Lindsay isn’t thrilled, or at least as non-thrilled as Natalia Cigliuti can act, and is even less excited that Rachel will be playing Cinderella.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h46m02s43

It’s time to practice and R.J. decides to ad lib lines because he doesn’t want to be less popular than Tommy D. Also, the word “zoiks” is in the play, which must mean that Ryan is actually playing Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. Lindsay gets jealous as hell when Ryan wants to meet Lindsay at the restaurant for their anniversary dinner so he can rehearse scenes with Rachel. This is followed by a scene at the restaurant where Lindsay’s waiting alone just to convince us that Lindsay should feel jealous or neglected or some shit over their one month anniversary.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h49m33s103

At The Max, Lindsay’s still jealous because Ryan was a half hour late to their date and Maria’s all, “You’re a fucking psycho bitch!” Ryan comes in and acts nice, which makes Lindsay assume that he’s being nice because he’s feeling guilty, and she leaves The Max so other people can have a turn at jumping to conclusions.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h50m25s109

Maria sees Ryan hand a necklace to Rachel, which must mean that they’re fucking like jackrabbits. She runs out and we hear Ryan tell Rachel that he’s bought the necklace for Lindsay as an opening night gift for not being a psycho bitch about Rachel and him. Boy, hope he kept the receipt!

Back at Bayside, Maria tells Lindsay about the necklace and they both start acting like stupid spoiled bitches. vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h51m55s241

There’s some more rehearsing and Screech is an idiot so he mistakes projecting for screaming. Yes, our subplot is going to be creative differences between Screech and Mr. Belding over the direction of the play. How surprising!vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h52m46s231

R.J. sucks Screech’s cock so that he’ll give him some more lines. Ryan and Rachel decide to go in a classroom and practice for their kissing scene since Rachel’s suddenly inherited Jessie’s height complex. Wouldn’t you know it: at that moment, Lindsay and Maria walk around the corner and go in the classroom and…
vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h53m53s142

Yeah, this looks so romantic. It’s like Ryan’s pushed Rachel down to force a kiss on her. Lindsay’s fucking pissed off. Oh, if only she knew what happens next season as soon as she’s out of the picture!vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h54m37s69

Tensions at the play are high, with R.J. giving his new ridiculous lines courtesy of Screech. Screech thinks he could do a better job as a director than Mr. Belding so Mr. Belding is all, “I don’t want to be a part of this show anyway!”vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h55m47s8

Meanwhile, Lindsay’s passive aggression turns into full blown aggression as, yes, Lindsay puts a real mouse down Rachel’s shirt.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h56m14s20 And slams a pumpkin on Ryan’s head.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h56m30s164

Screech takes the gang in Mr. Belding’s office…what are Tommy D and R.J. doing there? They aren’t a part of the fighting. Isn’t there something about confidentiality somewhere! Lindsay, Rachel, Ryan, and Maria all quit because they have to see this stupid shit through. Mr. Belding is all, “You didn’t need my help so you take care of it!” and Screech promises an extra blowjob to Mr. Belding if he’ll fix this stupid shit for him. Mr. Belding tells them to suck it up and think of the “hundreds” of people who bought tickets and they all agree to put on the performance.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h58m25s37

At the play, there’s still plenty of idiotic aggression.vlcsnap-2015-02-14-09h59m25s142

Offstage, Rachel tells Lindsay about the kissing and the necklace and that, in ten seconds, is enough to solve this plot contrivance. Ryan’s not quite ready to forgive her, though, so Rachel devises a way to get them back together.

What follows is very painful to watch, one of the more painful scenes of this show I’ve had to endure. Rachel declares the shoe doesn’t really fit her foot and, instead, fits Lindsay. This performance of Cinderella ends with Prince Charming falling in love with the wicked step-sister and with the step-sister giving an apology to the audience for being a bitch in the scenes of this episode they didn’t see. Yeah, so much for thinking about the show and the people who bought tickets. This shit is so narcissistic it gives narcissists a bad name. vlcsnap-2015-02-14-10h02m10s255Lindsay and Ryan kiss and make-up and our episode ends with the three of them doing a curtain call as I continue wondering if we’ll ever see the two of them actually get together.

6 responses to “The New Class Season 3, Episode 8: “Acting Jealous”

  1. This episode is basically a rehash of Snow White and the Seven Dorks which you’ll be getting to in your season four reviews

  2. Wow, they really are just reusing the same plots from the original Saved by the Bell. Crazy. haha

  3. I mainly watched to show to see if Kelly was going to have any scenes in sexy outfits, and I thought her floral print mini dress in this episode was fantastic. In the entire history of the series, there were only about half a dozen full-on examples of Kelly’s panty-covered crotch becoming visible on screen up her skirt, and this episode is one of them. She also wore this same dress in another episode that did not include a panty shot.

  4. I thought Kelly looked great throughout this entire episode. It seemed like she was horny, which I like. In the pink mini skirt and sleevles top, she is braless and it adds even more to her sexiness.

  5. Kelly looked sexy in this eposide. It looked like she was either horny for Slater, just generally horny or both. I remenber having very sexual thoughts about her while watching this episode.

    • Okay so you’ve posted the same comment three times and, given this post is about a The New Class episode, I have to assume that it’s posting to the wrong post. How about you leave me the episode you’re trying to comment on and I’ll investigate what’s wrong?

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