The New Class Season 3, Episode 15: “The Principal’s Principles”

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Oh, yay! In case I didn’t get enough of this stupid plot line a few weeks ago, now I get to see The New Class‘s take on it! I’m sure that will go just perfectly!vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h03m23s219

And it opens just perfectly with ethnic stereotypes! Oh, they never cease to amaze me in the Saved by the Bell universe. See, Ryan and R.J. are conducting fake Hollywood tours for people coming to something called “the American Games” so they can make some quick cash. These are all international tourists and they’re conveniently wearing garb stereotypical to their native lands so you can tell they really are foreign since Japanese people always wear kimonos and French people always wear berets when they go abroad. You know, at this stage of the game it shouldn’t surprise me, but the lack of even basic understanding of cultural sensitivity for these writers just surprises me sometimes.vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h04m11s204

Oh, and Screech is a complete moron and doesn’t realize it’s all a scam so he buys Ryan’s bullshit that Elvis, Sylvester Stalone, and the cast of 90210 really attended Bayside.vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h04m41s249

Mr. Belding comes in and puts a stop to this insensitivity that’s still not quite as bad as Zack Morris dressing in Native American garb and he makes Ryan give he tourists back their money. He and the rest of the gang are bummed because he was going to use the money he made to buy them all tickets for the opening ceremonies of the American Games. Okay, what the hell are the America Games? Was 1995 an Olympic year and they just wanted an excuse to have an Olympic style subplot without the inaccuracy that the Olympics weren’t in Los Angeles? If so, I don’t know why facts stopped them this time. They’ve never consider reality before.

The gang decide that maybe they’ll get a Zack Morris level student principal who will let them do whatever the hell they want in class.
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Their hopes are soon smashed, though, when they find out the student principal will be Franklin, who’s apparently well adapt at kissing Mr. Belding’s ass. They run down the hallway to give some student a detention slip together. The gang decide they have to cut Franklin’s reign of terror short.

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Fun fact: the entire gang sans Tommy D is now in band class, because Bayside has twenty periods a day to accommodate all the extra-curricular activities our gang participates in. Rachel’s suddenly the best member of the band, though this has never been mentioned before…like even hinted at, so Miss Grundy, the band teacher, announces she’ll be student teacher in her place, which means she’ll be conducting a recital solo at the end of the week. I could call bullshit here but this is The New Class and, at this point, I’ll be satisfied if Screech and Franklin don’t trade blow jobs all week in Mr. Belding’s office.

Rachel’s first act as teacher is to have the whole band play a piece that’s supposed to “rock.” Of course, in the Saved by the Bell universe, “rock” means “muzak that we don’t have to pay royalties on” so it naturally sucks.

Ryan puts his plan into motion by telling Franklin that, if he wants to be just like Mr. Belding, he has to insult Screech as much as possible and make Screech his bitch. Franklin, not being used to the way plots in this franchise usually go, buys it hook, line, and sinker.
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In the hallway, Mr. Belding tells Franklin that Screech will be staying on as administrative assistance to give him adult support, which is what I kept saying Zack Morris needed during “Student Teacher Week.” Mind you, having Screech as the adult may be worse than having no support at all.

Franklin starts insulting Screech right away by telling Screech he’s trash and he seriously needs to shut the fuck up. He gives Screech a list of chores including shining his shoes and sterilizing his retainer. So…he treats Screech the contempt anybody with half a brain cell would? Of course, this makes him evil and incompetent in this universe, so Ryan sets the next part of the plan in motion by having Tommy D step in and defend Screech. Despite the fact that Mr. Belding refused to intervene when Zack Morris was doing idiotic things, he intervenes in Franklin’s rudeness, taking away his principal of the week status and giving it to Tommy D since the only thing better than one incompetent person in Mr. Belding’s office is two!vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h13m07s186

And so Tommy D gets to work on the all-important task of wasting pencils! Yes, this is the thrilling scene you’ve been demanding the last three years, in which Tommy D does his part to destroy the rain forest.

Screech brings the rest of the gang sans Rachel into the office for being in the hallway without a pass. Tommy D says he’s going to give them severe spankings but…vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h13m52s122

As soon as Screech is out of the room, the party comes out of nowhere. Tommy D calls Rachel to the office to complete their party but she’s less than thrilled that everyone’s not in class. Oh, I get it. She’s going to be Kelly in this episode, as if that weren’t apparent enough from a mile away.vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h15m31s77

In the hallway, Mr. Belding decides to dress like a hippie because that’s what he wore when he was in school. As much as I like ’60s rock, it’s times like this I’m very thankful I’m a child of the ’80s and ’90s. All we had were ridiculous clothes like parachute pants and way too colorful shirts. Oh, the nineties. Screech, after insulting Mr. Belding, acts like an idiot while trying to help him with “his” locker and then, after wasting enough of his time to where he’s in the hallway after the bell rings, issues him a detention slip. Seriously, how does this moron keep a job?vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h16m19s49

In Mr. Belding’s office, Tommy D is down the all important task of sleeping in a hammock he’s somehow put up. It looks like he’s attached it to the blinds which can’t be safe. Maybe he’ll fall and knock his head on the ledge, putting him in a coma and ending this episode early. That would be sweet music to my ears!

Ryan and R.J. come in and wake Tommy D up. They decide they need to make money for the America Games so they come up with the idea of turning the gym into a bed and breakfast for our stereotypical international tourists. vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h17m26s212

So Maria was appointed gym teacher off camera so she abuses her authoriy to get Mr. Belding out of the gym so they can set up for the bed and breakfast. See, they’re under the impression that Mr. Belding will intervene if they do something stupid this week. Too bad no one told them that three years ago he did jack shit when Zack Morris was doing stupid shit as principal.

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Next, Lindsay arranges with the home ec class to cook food for their guests. They’ve created an international menu including French toast, Swiss cheese, and fudge, for the fat people…

God I hate this show…I shouldn’t even have to comment on this idiocy, and I still have four and a half more seasons to go…

Screech comes in and Ryan convinces him that the parents of future foreign exchange students are coming to visit Bayside. I guess he thinks Brian’s presence last season brought the school’s international profile up.

Rachel comes down upset because everyone missed practice for the recital to help with the bed and breakfast, or us upset as she would be if Sarah Lancaster could accurately portray those emotions. Tommy D tells her to chill and she tells him he better make sure everyone shows up tomorrow. vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h20m17s92

It’s not clear how long after the last scene this is but, however long, it’s time to serve food to the guests, including  black guy they randomly put in traditional African garb. I really hate this show…

Lindsay runs in and tells the gang Mr. Beldings coming so they roll everything and everyone into the music room to prevent him from finding out about the bed and breakfast. In the music room, Franklin’s the only one who showed up for practice so Rachel’s pissed off, again. So I guess it’s the next day. Mr. Belding gets caught in the hallway after the bell rings so Tommy D gives him another detention.

Rachel comes out and tells Tommy D it’s all his fault that no one is showing up for her rehearsals and the recital is tomorrow. Tommy D helpfully offers just to cancel her stupid music thingy but Rachel’s all, “I took this job so I could have undue influence on a school activity that many members of the public will no doubt attend.” She tells Tommy D off and walks away.
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After a commercial break, Screech manages to insult this stereotypical Italian. Good thing he doesn’t mention he once ruined Italian food as well. Tommy D, meanwhile, tells Screech the truth and Screech acts surprised that students aren’t taking student teacher week seriously, again. Tommy D says they’d be better off if he quit but Screech tells him the point is to learn responsibility like he never has so Tommy D decides to figure out what to do.vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h26m53s2

In the hallway, Ryan tells Mr. Belding he’s been elected him parking lot monitor to get him out of the school. Of course, he doesn’t think anything’s up with this so it must be a daily thing at Bayside for the students to elect a parking lot monitor.

Tommy D comes in and tells them he’s shutting down the bed and breakfast and that he’s sent the tourists to the Y. Gee, that was kind of him. The gang get upset and he tells them he’s expecting them to go to Rachel’s recital but they don’t want to because the opening ceremonies for the America Games are at the same time. Wait, that means you’re all deliberate assholes! If you’ve had a schedule conflict all along, why would you even try to make money to go to the America Games! The only explanation is they were planning on blowing off the recital all along, which means this unclear plot thread makes them grade A jack asses!

At the recital, it doesn’t look like the gang is going to show up so Rachel gets pissed off.vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h28m44s94

They come in at the last minute saying that the principal has principles so that the episode can have a title.vlcsnap-2015-03-23-22h30m12s197

The recital consists of a thirty second piece of muzak that a few extras in the audience are thrilled by and the episode ends with Rachel pleased by the lowered expectations The New Class likes to set for what constitutes a good musical recital, or a good end of an episode for that matter.

2 responses to “The New Class Season 3, Episode 15: “The Principal’s Principles”

  1. ILovedKellyKapowski

    This episode gives the impression all foreigners are idiots who easily fall for Ryan’s stupid high school scams. How can anyone believe a legitimate bed and breakfast would operate out of a high school gym?

    Also, when Tommy D sent them all to the Y, did he return their money? I thought Ryan already spent the money to buy tickets for the “American Games”. So who paid for their stay at the Y? And how could the Y suddenly have space for them, when all the hotels in town are booked? I would assume some budget travelers would’ve filled up beds at the Y as well.

    Was Rachel really a teacher? I didn’t see her teach anything. She just waved her wand and danced around like an idiot.

    This episode is just really bad. Why didn’t they just show a re-run of “Student-Teacher Week” instead of wasting money to produce this horrible rip-off?

  2. Miss Grundy must have gotten sick of Riverdale High with its resident klutz, resident schemer, dumb jock, nerd, and bestie cheerleaders, so she came to Bayside High with its…oh, wait.

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