Ah, yes, it’s time for yet another dance at Bayside. I swear, this school has more unnecessary dances. Until I was a junior, we were lucky if we had two or three dances. This school…
Well, naturally, this is THE event of the year, and Nicky hopes to take Katie to the dance because, despite them dating in the last two episodes, that apparently isn’t enough to convince Nicky’s low New York self-esteem that he’s good enough for Katie.
Ryan, though, says that it’s going to suck ass because of the musical guests.
Yes, Mr. Belding now has a barbershop quartet and he’s abused his authority to get them on as the featured act at the fall formal. I’m surprised Screech isn’t in there somewhere to act as the ding bat of the group. Also, it saves on rights since they’ll undoubtedly only do songs in the public domain.
Eric says it’s whack that Mr. Belding’s abusing his authority to put his stupid little group in the formal because Eric and his brothers have been performing together and should get to do the formal instead because…being a musician means automatically the school should bow down to your every wish? Damned if I know what the justification here is but Eric really wants to perform.
Maria and Katie come along so Nicky takes about ten seconds out of the episode’s running time to ask Katie to the formal. She immediately says yes without any conflict or jokes or anything because this was a crucial scene to add in and not do off screen before the episode started. Thanks for using your running time so wisely, The New Class.
Meanwhile, Rachel’s found a dress that gives her better sex than Ryan ever could, and is so excited by it she has what can only be described as “dress porn” in a picture album. Maria asks Katie what kind of dress she’s going to wear and she shows mild disinterest in the whole concept, which must mean she’s planning on wearing nothing to give Nicky a pleasant surprise.
Maria’s date to the dance comes up to warn her that his father is chaperoning the dance. Say bye to him because, though they don’t break off their date, he’s not seen at all in the rest of the episode including at the formal. Maria thinks this is horrible news because now she can’t get her booty laid but Ryan thinks it’s great because the father is Paul Wilson is a big music producer in the Saved by the Bell universe. Ryan pretty much forces Eric to let him be his manager and promises Eric that he will get a record deal for Eric and his brothers after he convinces Mr. Belding to let them perform.
Right on cue, Mr. Belding and Screech come out of Mr. Belding’s office drenched in sweat. Yes, this week’s Mr. Belding-Screech subplot is that the air conditioning in Mr. Belding’s office isn’t working, which I would say shouldn’t matter in the fall but this is LA, so I guess it’s a rare instance of the writers getting something right. Mind you, it’s nice to know that minor everyday inconveniences now count as subplots on The New Class. Of course, Mr. Belding gives Screech the job of getting the air conditioner repaired, which means it will probably turn into a not-so-wacky fiasco in a few minutes!
Ryan tries to convince Mr. Belding to let Eric and his brothers perform as the opening act at the fall formal, but Mr. Belding says he has to make this plot just a little harder to resolve in order to create some semblance of tension for the viewers. Ryan gets a glimmer in his eye that says he’ll come up with some nefarious plan to keep the plot going.
At Katie’s house, Katie’s bummed because money’s tight at her house despite her having that brand new Macintosh computer in the background so her mom can’t afford to get her a new dress for the formal. She takes one of Katie’s sister’s dresses out of Katie’s closet–god only knows why Katie has to store her sister’s clothes; maybe they can’t afford another closet–and suggests they modify it a little to give Katie a new to her look. Katie’s so happy she has a thoughtful mom that she doesn’t put any emotion into thanking her for this act.
Also, Katie’s mom likes Nicky despite the fact he’s from New York. Guess his one character trait isn’t working against him just yet.
Back at Bayside, Ryan confronts the barbershop quartet…
…and convinces them, via a professional looking printed poster, that Mr. Belding is hogging the spotlight of their group and taking credit for their talents. They must be new to this school because they instantly believe everything Ryan tells them and, when Mr. Belding comes around to take them to dress rehearsal, all three of them quit.
Mr. Belding can’t figure out why they quit despite practically running into Ryan’s fake poster several times during this scene. I’ll chalk it up to him not wearing his glasses. Told you we’d never see those things again. He has no idea what he’ll do for a musical act in their place, especially one that will work for free and not infringe copyright, and, luckily, Ryan has that figured out already.
Eric and at least one of Anthony Harrell’s real life brothers comes out and performs a song that practically sucks Mr. Belding’s cock , it’s such a suck up song. Everyone loves it, though, and Mr. Belding makes them the new musical act for the formal while Screech continues singing the song hoping to get a chance to suck Mr. Belding’s cock himself.
Now, I have to say, this was actually a good choice. See, one of the things the original series did right was take some of the young actors’ real life interests and incorporate them into their characters so they wouldn’t have to act as much. The Harrell brothers are actually real life performers and continue to perform music together to this day, so this was a smart thing to do on the part of the producers. I can’t figure out who the other guy is, though. He has a different last ame and never appeared in anything other than this episode so I guess that’s a mystery that’s lost to time.
Back at Katie’s house, she admires her dress when Rachel and Maria come in to show off their dresses. Rachel paid $300 for hers and Maria $250 so the look of confusion on Katie’s face must mean that Lindsey McKeon is trying to emote that she’s feeling insecure because she can’t afford a really expensive dress. So Katie’s inheriting Kelly’s ability to live in an upper class part of LA while still remaining poor. Gotcha.
Back at Bayside, excitement is mounting as Mr. Belding’s air conditioner is still broken! Oh, but this time it’s making Mr. Belding’s office too cold! How wacky! What will be the resolution of this suspenseful subplot?
Ryan continues talking up the ability of Paul Wilson to make or break someone and Eric sys he suddenly doesn’t feel so well.
Rachel and Maria come back from shopping for dresses with Katie and don’t understand why Katie doesn’t just whip out her bags of money like everyone else in Pacific Palisades and buy it. Nicky comes down and brags about how much h spent on a tuxedo and Katie decides that the only way she can avoid being as much an outcast as Screech is to find a way to earn $250 so she can buy the dress.
Speaking of outcasts, Screech now has broken the air conditioner to the point it’s putting out so much air it’s creating a tornado in Mr. Belding’s office. How hilarious can one episode of this show get! He gets incredulous with someone on the phone when they offer to fix the air conditioner for $500 because apparently Bayside can afford to send students to Catalina but not to pay $500 to fix an air conditioner.
Katie comes in and fixes the air conditioner with the magic “off” button. Screech is so amazed by her wizardry skills that, when she says she needs a part time job, he offers her the opportunity to fix the air conditioner. She accepts despite not knowing anything about air conditioners other than how to turn them off, like Screech would have as well had he not been a complete dumb ass.
Katie recruits Nicky to help her repair the air conditioner and he accepts despite not knowing anything about the subject because he’s hoping to get some unemotional Katie poon at the formal.
Meanwhile, Ryan has an idea to help Eric get over his fear of performing in front of Paul Wilson: by having Screech dress up as a snitch from Miami Vice and tell Eric he’s a music producer. Eric can’t take the pressure of performing in front of a complete dumb ass, though, and runs off, leaving Ryan to thank Screech for making things even worse than they were before, like usual.
Nicky finishes fixing the air conditioner just in time to sneak out of the office before Screech comes back in. The air conditioner finally seems to be fixed so could this be the resolution of this exciting subplot?
No, of course not! We give Nicky asking Katie to the formal ten seconds, but the damned air conditioner is so important it has to be dragged out through the rest of the episode! Yes, the air conditioner explodes in smoke and Screech takes advantage of the situation to jump into Mr. Belding’s arms, who promptly orders him to go see the wizard and get a brain.
After Mr. Belding leaves, Katie confesses to Screech she doesn’t really know how to repair air conditioning and that she needed money to buy a dress. He sympathizes because he wishes he could buy a new dress too but she walks out and says that he doesn’t understand because he sucks at life.
Outside Mr. Belding’s office, Katie has a dream sequence that just happens to be the exact set of the formal we’ll see in a few minutes. It’s a good thing Katie’s subconscious was on the decorations committee or she might not know what the formal was going to look like. Anyway, despite the fact we’ve already seen what her dress is going to look like and that it looks nothing like the Amelia Badelia look she’s sporting here, she imagines she’s going to be the most horribly dressed person at the formal.
Naturally, Rachel and Maria are huge assholes to Katie and even wrap her in a tablecloth to make her look better. And thus ends the dream sequence. Jesus, the dream sequences this season are weird, even by Saved by the Bell standards…
At The Max, Eric reveals he lost his voice and conveniently has a binder to let the gang know. Meanwhile, Katie comes in and pretends to be pissed off at Nicky over the air conditioner so she breaks their date to the formal because…god if I know at this point.
Back at Bayside, Ryan and Maria figured out that Eric’s faking losing his voice because anyone could have seen it a mile away. They pretend Paul Wilson’s not coming to the formal after all, which makes Eric instantly able to talk again. He says he and his brothers can perform at the formal now and rushes off to tell them as Ryan tells Maria he has to figure out a way to keep Paul Wilson away from Eric all night.
Nicky confronts Screech and tries to take responsibility for the air conditioner. Screech reveals that the whole thing is over a damned dress and Nicky suddenly realizes Katie’s actually poor though no one in this whole damned episode seemed to have picked up on it! God this show is so excruciatingly idiotic!
Nicky shows up at Katie’s house anyway and breaks in to take her to the formal. He says he knows about the dress and that she can go naked for all he cares. He convinces her to go to the formal so he can get laid and she agrees but tells him that his perverted mind needs to go outside while she gets dressed.
At the formal, Ryan’s method of keeping Paul Wilson away from Eric is to sic Screech on him. Unfortunately, that’s the absolute worst thing that Ryan could have done since Screech finds out that, before he was a music producer, Paul Wilson was in air conditioner repair! Oh, the plots all converge! It’s so exciting!
It turns out that Rachel and Maria both hate their dresses because they’re so uncomfortable and envy Katie’s dress. They apologize for not realizing their friend was lower class than them and make up, declaring that they always have been and always will be best friends, no matter what that traitor Lindsay said last season!
Eric and his brothers perform what’s actually a pretty good rendition of “In the Still of the Night,” which must have set back the show’s budget a nice little bit since they actually had to get the rights to use a real song. Apparently, too, being the musical guest means you only do one song at this formal, so they’re done after their performance. Wasn’t that rousing?
Unfortunately, Paul Wilson misses the performance completely because he had to go to the emergency room after he broke his finger on the stupid air conditioner after the plots converged. Ryan wonders why he ever trusted with Screech. I have the answer: everyone on this show has selective memory and forget they’re dealing with a complete moron!
And our episode ends with Katie kissing Nicky to thank him for loving her despite her lack of money. Now can we please leave behind dances for awhile? I’m so sick of dances on this show. I want more exciting things, like more air conditioner repair!