Aren’t I lucky? We’re back at Space Camp for one more week because our first two outings weren’t torturous enough!
And we find out that the gang’s final project at space camp will be to build and launch model rockets for their graduation ceremony. Naturally, Mr. Belding and Screech will be supervising the two teams since Space Camp apparently doesn’t employ anyone competent enough to supervise groups of teenagers through basic rocket building. Mr. Belding’s team, the red team, will consist of Ryan, Eric, and Katie while Screech’s team, the yellow team, will be Rachel, Nicky, and Maria. Rachel wants to switch teams since she’s now codependent and can’t do anything without Ryan hanging off her but Mr. Belding says the plot demands she not be on Ryan’s team. Of course, the rest of the students don’t get to build model rockets because they don’t matter to the plot.
Well, maybe I’m wrong about other students not getting to be in groups. Another Space Camp employee comes in and introduces two random girls who decided to go shopping instead of doing their project so they need to join the gang’s groups. Meet Mary Beth Pepperton and Amy Wright. Mary Beth gets to be on the red team while Amy will be on the yellow team. Something seems familiar about these two, though. Why do I get the feeling they’re not so random placements?
God damn it. This is a stupid fucking crossover episode with Hang Time, isn’t it? Yeah, no joke, they decided the best way to get better ratings for a cheap Saved by the Bell rip-off was to put two of its characters into an even worse Saved by the Bell rip-off. I don’t know a lot about Hang Time other than it’s where Anthony Anderson got his big break but I know enough to realize that this crossover doesn’t make any sense in light of the final season when Dustin Diamond visits for a midnight screening of Saved by the Bell: Wedding in Las Vegas. No, that is a real plot. In any case, I know nothing about Mary Beth and Amy other than the former is the manger of the basketball team and the latter is a cheerleader. So, I guess I’m going into it the way most viewers of The New Class did: with no fucking clue who these two were.
Ryan invites Mary Beth to sit with them and she immediately gives Ryan a lap dance, causing the audience to lose their mind since they don’t know how babies are made. Gee, I wonder what the conflict of the episode will be.
So we get to see the teams prepping for their rocket building. Mr. Belding gets his team red pencils.
While Screech decks out the whole team in yellow and even wrote up blueprints for them. He’s also concerned they dry themselves with yellow towels because I’m sure he’s fitted them with waterproof cameras or such shit.
Screech then starts doing his usual crazy shit and Amy thinks Screech is the most awesome thing to have ever existed, which must mean that Amy’s the dumb ass of the Hang Time gang. After all, who else would think Screech is intelligent?
Mr. Belding, meanwhile, assigns Ryan and Mary Beth to design their rocket so they have some time together to get their subplot together while Eric and Katie go to find material. Rachel passes them and tells Ryan she’ll see him at dinner as Ryan and Mary Beth wax poetic about how sad they are to have boyfriends and girlfriends and shit.
The next day, it’s time for the groups to show off their rockets. Red team’s rocket will go up to fifty feet in the air…
…while Mr. Belding has rocket envy for yellow team’s rocket as it can go five hundred feet in the air. And, thus, we get Mr. Belding and Screech’s subplot: competition over who has a bigger rocket ship. Actually, I’m sure this is what they talk about all the time.
Mr. Belding decides that they need better materials and research so he sends Ryan and Mary Beth to get supplies. Ryan cancels dinner with Rachel and then…borrows Mr. Belding’s car. What is it with authority figures in this franchise just randomly trusting their cars with teenagers?
The next day at breakfast, Ryan and Mary Beth do the classic sitcom cliche of trying to pretend nothing happened by acting as weird and anxious as possible. Still, because the plot demands it, no one realizes they have “Cheating Whores” written all over them.
In our other subplot, Screech talks shit about Mr. Belding’s rocket ship and suggests he launch it with a slingshot.
Meanwhile, Mr. Belding’s become overly paranoid about a new rocket design. When Nicky comes in, he suggests they move so Nicky can’t copy his stupid design.
Ryan asks for some time alone with Nicky. Mr. Belding tells him to have fun but don’t let him see their rocket yet until it’s fully ready to blast off. Ryan tells Nicky he kissed Mary Beth and Nicky gives him the predictable advice that Mary Beth will be going back to Indiana so does he want to risk shit with Rachel to go out with her. Never stopped Zack Morris. In any case, Nicky tells Ryan he has to decide what to do about the kiss, leaving Ryan to contemplate his future.
Ryan and Mary Beth talk and decide that it was a one time thing and they still love the people their respective shows tell them they need to be with.
So Mr. Belding and Screech’s subplot comes to a head with each destroying the other’s rocket ship because they’re being awesome examples for the gang. This leads to both teams getting fed up and saying they’re not going to participate in this dumb subplot any longer. Mr. Belding and Screech go off to talk.
Ryan tells Rachel about the kiss and insists he still loves her and hopes she will forgive him. Rachel puts on the best hurt face that Sarah Lancaster can muster and rushes off since the guy who, earlier this season was so paranoid that she would cheat on him, cheated on her.
And, surprise, she hasn’t forgiven Ryan by the next scene so she takes some flowers he got her and throws them in the garbage, saying she’s almost done with this series so why should she bother with this shit any longer.
Mr. Belding and Screech tell the teams they’ve been bad leaders and role models and dumb asses, so they decide to have both teams work together and see what they can come up with by tomorrow.
For an episode about Ryan cheating on Rachel, there hasn’t been a whole lot of Rachel around, so we get this scene for her to get advice from Katie and Maria. Katie tells Rachel to stay with him. Rachel actually brings up Nicky cheating on Katie, something I figured the writers would just forget about, and she says that’s totally different, even though it’s actually the same. Maria agrees with Katie, insisting that staying together is a good opportunity for pain on Ryan’s part.
Mary Beth comes in to talk to Rachel and tells her she feels awful that their crossover made the Hang Time characters look like a horrible asshole and a dumb ass. She says she hopes Rachel finds it in her heart to forgive him so they can continue their love until the end of the series.
The next day, the Space Camp people tell Mr. Belding and Screech the combined team rocket is the best they’ve ever seen. Of course it is. When our gang shits, they shit gold, even if it is shit. We get some shit about team work and all and they’ve got an hour before the ceremony.
Rachel tells Ryan she wants to stay with him and Ryan says he wants Rachel to trust him again, promising he won’t cheat on her again until he finds another girl to date next season.
Screech obsesses over not pressing the rocket launch button. Naturally, since he’s a complete dumb ass, he presses it even as he tells the others not to.
And the episode ends as we learn the real reason Space Camp California closed: because a dumb ass washed-up child actor blew it up.